Jimmy Messier (wite_rabit) wrote,
Jimmy Messier

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Living life alone

This is an adjustment, to be sure. It has been almost three months (tomorrow) since we parted ways - in the intervening time I've had to abandon the former lifestyle and roommates. Today, I share an awesome apartment with my goody buddy Jason and my pets... I'm THAT guy.

I've noticed (especially as Jason is off cavorting) that my life possesses a lot of downtime. Attempting to fill this time is difficult at best, made worse by my lack of connection to the Internet and reduced social circle. What this leaves me with at the end of the day is a full measure of free time against which long-running excuses against improvement fall flat.

As it turns out, I find it difficult to self-motivate. All excuses aside when left to my own devices I will tend to do whatever will require the least investment... This does not work without ready access to media sources, however. I am beginning to experience life in a way that more closely resembles what my good friend Ed chose willingly. That is, a life without constant distraction.

I know that this time, like times before it, can serve as a great tool for my personal advancement. I know it deep in my gut, my heart, and even my brain.

This time I have available to me... I detest it. Ever the petulant child, I prefer to wallow in life regardless of the negative side-effects. My challenge, now, is against myself and my competing desires. Enter the classic angel/demon perched on my shoulder, with wafts of greasy and salty fried Jack in the Box to torment and distract me from my life's goals.

Verily, yea, I can consumeth of the fine flesh. The respite from a limited diet would be as waves crashing down upon the rocks - but in their ebb, they take from the stones their very strength. I tempt fate with each bite as though I were a raging alcoholic looking for an opening..

As times come and pass, these influences will change and grow. I have certainly been through this before and can succeed again. If I do not waver in my resolve, if consistent progress can continue to be made, I will be looking back on these times as I did those that came before. Else and I will be looking back in hopes of finding where it all went wrong.
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